What constitutes excusable wet-weather footwear? Life and character The Guardian

Ugg boots: not wet-weather wear Photograph: Geoff Moore / Rex Features

What constitutes excusable wet-weather footwear?

Emily, London

Well, not Uggs, that"s for gosh-darn sure. People! What is wrong with you? Now, I conclude that I am entrance at this from a rather inequitable position, not being a fan of the Ugh, I meant Ugg. However, I am an fair sort of person, and even I can accept, grudgingly, that a woollen foot competence be utterly a good thing on an icy morning.

Yet, lo! What I feared has come to pass. Women, and the occasional utterly misled man, crop up to have turn so ­enamoured of their Uggs that they have confused them with wellingtons and each stormy day this winter (ie, each day) Britain"s streets have been suffused with the overpower­ing smell of soppy nap and humid feet.

The complaint is that the Ugg is the tough drug of footwear. Some people can hoop them and dally spasmodic but apropos full-on addicts, and a small can"t and demand on abusing it now, now, NOW! Honestly, they don"t have a complaint – loads of people rely on them, daily. Give me my Uggs! Now! Yes, in the rain, what"s your problem?

My complaint is this, Ugg addict: Ugg boots are not waterproof. They are cold proof. You see? Different. Look at you, sobbing, trembling, your feet shower wet, your boots imitative drowned hamsters. Look at what you"ve become. The usually resolution is cold turkey and, yes, I know it"s tough to accept. Don"t be ashamed. ­Honestly, you"re not alone and I am gratified to move this complaint to the public"s ­attention. That"s right, it"s an Ask Hadley campaign, and if ­anyone would similar to to pointer my apply to for this complaint to be some-more at large recognised, they need to send in a print of their rejected Uggs to infer their loyalty and I"ll get the papers to you. Alan Johnson? Please, for the consequence of the young kids and Broken Britain, can we get the Ugg upgraded to category A asap?

As for what you can wear, well, the viewable (and to illustrate wrong) choice is Hunter wellies. I"m fearful these are right away as well compared with Wags who have pretensions of being Kate Moss. Person­ally, I utterly similar to the wellies by Marc by Marc; not usually do they not roar "I"M FROM MARC BY MARC" (and are to illustrate singular for engineer footwear), but they aren"t really ­expensive, generally ­compared with Hunter wellingtons.

But I think the most appropriate shoes for a stormy day is the slipper, since that equates to you"re staying at home and examination Frasier, that is patently the usually essential approach to outlay a stormy day.

Why is it that in the future, cars can fly, guns are lasers and robots are fiendishly clever, but everybody dresses the same (source: each science-fiction movie ever)? Will record kill fashion?

Kieran, west London

Let"s goal so. After all, let"s think of what constitutes conform in the destiny from the couple of crumbs that trickle through, according to these movies of that you speak: the big corpulent trinket things in Logan"s Run (very Kensington Market, circa 1991. In a bad way); the unfortunate hi-tops in Back to the Future II; ­Sigourney Weaver"s hair in Avatar.

Now, I have small time for Avatar, aka, Last of the Mohicans with combined blueyness, but I have a lot of time to plead Sigourney"s hair. Holy racial cliche: am I the usually one to be aesthetic­ally ­offended by the plaits Sigourney"s avatar sports? What is she, an over­enthusiastic teen on legal holiday in Jamaica? As ­Mugatu says in Zoolander, "I feel similar to I"m receiving funny pills!"

So, Kieran, in the destiny so most mental appetite will be depleted on never creation any correct facial countenance alternative than "grim" (source: all sci-fi films) and guidance how to together play ground a drifting car that nothing will be left for conform ­design. And if Sigourney is any kind of denote of the whole, appreciate God.